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"Life is never one sweet song...Mine hasn't been, and we all bear witness that even Jesus himself had a tough time on earth, He ended up on a cross because of our sins. That was His purpose, and I have mine, I will need your help in fulfilling it."

Remember: (John 13:35)
"Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples."

Blog admin,
Kenince

Thursday, January 17, 2008

My parents don't understand me. I'm at the lowest part of my life. Can anybody relate to this? Or even help me??

I received a link to this question and thought it might be best for us to start by helping this girl here, we at times feel that our parents don't understand us, but how do we react in such a situation? Lets hear from you.

"I hate having to admit my parents don't understand me. My mom is extremely one sided and only believes what she thinks is right and my dad agrees with her every single time. I met and fell in love with the most amazing person of my life a year ago. Yes I am 18, but he has taught me things my parents never have...like how to appreciate life and be respectful to those who are disrespectful to you, not to be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, how to love someone, being more confident and not letting things get the best of me, etc. I feel like I haven't learned these things from my parents because whenever i get in trouble i get yelled and screamed at. My boyfriend never screams at me when I do something wrong and I actually learn and have so much more respect for him. My parents feel my world revolves around him and that I'm out of control. I was even blamed today for one day being the death of my mother because of her heart problems. How can I emotionally handle this?I've tried talking to them and explaining without yelling but I can't help but react to their yelling by screaming back. My life is so screwed up..and my boyfriend has to listen to all of this. They are even considering making us break up.
Please help, and quick..." Rachael.

Anonymous Rachael said...

Thank you very much for all your comments and your advices. I have come to a decision and even though I can't share it with you now, I will be back to tell you how it has affected me.

January 28, 2008 1:37 AM

Posted by at

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you are spiritual, but do u believe in all things working together for good to those who love God and those who are called according to His purpose. But in a more personal view, just be patient with your parents and faithful to your boyfriend. Don't give up on what you believe in. Its your life, live it, but live it cautiously knowing that you will be responsible for the decisions you make today. My advice: "hold on" it will come to pass.

January 24, 2008 at 10:46 PM
Anonymous said...

When I saw your question I thought "Here's a typical 13-14-15 year old girl having the same problem with her parents that all adolescent girls do."

But then I opened it up to see that you are 18, able to express yourself well, and have a clear grasp of what the problem is.

People are going to tell you to move out, which may or may not be an option for you.

It sounds like both you and your parents are struggling with the idea of you maturing, becoming capable of making your own decisions, and living your life the way you want to.

How many people have heard these words from their parents:"As long as you live under this roof you will live by my rules!"

That, perhaps unfortunately, is true. But I do think that parents who are able to cope with the maturing of their children are going to have an easier time accepting the changes and still being able to give the love and support we expect from our parents.

It sounds to me like your mother is struggling to accept the fact that her daughter is growing up. Maybe she remembers what she was like when she was 18 herself - meaning she knows now how little of life she knew then, and this is her way of expressing her concern for the decisions you may be making. When you are your mothers age, you will also look back and understand why she may feel this way now. You will say to yourself "How little I really knew of life then."

Have you thought that you may still be acting childishly with your parents? Temper, pouting, argument, insisting on your own way? Not telling them the truth? Defying their wishes?

Do you have a job? Are you saving money? If you're attending school, are you making good grades? Do you have goals about what you want to do with your life?

If the answer to any of these things are no, you might want to reevaluate your own feelings in the context of your interaction between you and your parents.

They want to look upon themselves as successful parents. By demonstrating maturities such as these, you will be accomplishing that.

Good luck!

January 25, 2008 at 12:06 AM
Anonymous said...

Making you break up? You are 18. Time to face the music. Parents are not perfect, and if your value system differs so greatly from theirs, then it's time to let go. You don't give enough details about your situation. Are you living at home? Are they paying for school? If the relationship with your parents is unbearable, then you need to put time and distance between you. Don't cut off all contact, just take some time and space for you. Are you out of high school? If not, that greatly impacts the amount of "power" you have at this time. Everyone goes through these growing pains as they realize mom and dad aren't as "be-all, end-all" as they once thought. You still a lot of life in front of you. Slow down and recognize that you are growing up, and they don't like that.

January 25, 2008 at 12:07 AM
Anonymous said...

It seems to me that you're " in love" with your boyfriend, because he is not anything like your parents. Sounds like he is a season boyfriend, and maybe came into your life to help you while you are at your lowest point. It may sound crazy, but your parents may have valid reasons about your relationship, so try to hear them out and the reasons. Be careful not to be to wrapped in your boyfriend, because you do sound vulnerable, so make sure he is not taking advantage of that.

January 25, 2008 at 12:08 AM
Anonymous said...

Hey Rachel,i agree with wat Anonymous says,but i would also like to add don't wrap yourself in your niceties,am sure your parents love you,and want the best for you,be good and listen to them,,Try to put off anything that gives them light into your immaturity you will eventualy win them,you dont want to look back and say i wish i knew and dont disobey your parents please.

January 25, 2008 at 4:47 AM
Anonymous said...

I have never posted anything on the internet before, but I feel I should seek help. I am a porn addict and I seriously want to stop. It is slowly creeping in my family coz I think my wife knows though she hasn't told me yet. Is there anyone who has ever got out of this, I have tried stopping a million and one times but It seems its defeating me. I need help and I need it soon.
ooh and to you Rachael, Am a parent and I know what you're going through. and I agree with Leila, thats very sound advice. Thanks

January 28, 2008 at 1:10 AM
Anonymous said...

I have been appointed as a leader of a youth group in our church and am not sure if I should accept it or not. I don't think I am worthy to be in such a position. I am saved Yes!! but I have not been very much righteous (if i should say so). Please help because i have never been in any leadership post before.

January 28, 2008 at 1:34 AM
Anonymous said...

Thank you very much for all your comments and your advices. I have come to a decision and even though I can't share it with you now, I will be back to tell you how it has affected me.

January 28, 2008 at 1:37 AM

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